Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
