Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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