I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
