She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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