also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
