i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
