So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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