You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
