One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
