I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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