no, he came in my armpit
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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