sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
