Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize