I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Randomize
