I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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