it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
BRING THE BAGELS
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
