12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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