Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
