Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
