Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
