2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
