I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
