dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
