i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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