My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
