so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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