so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
