Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
