giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
