Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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