idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
