It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
