Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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