This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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