I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize