Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
