Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
