How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
