I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
