he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
be right there i have to get my cape
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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