I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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