i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You brought string cheese to the strip club
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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