so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize