Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This is not my ceiling
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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