No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
