dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
