Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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