I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
