i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
