But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
