the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
