We're like a lot better than the average bears
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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