Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
