What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
