either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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