He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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