U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just had sex bonerless
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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