break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
