so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
