THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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