Non-Jews are for practice
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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