My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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