dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
