i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
