Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
