i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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