I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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