never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i've created a new STD.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
