Soap is not a condiment
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I AM VODKA MAN
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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