Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
