So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
