He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
