She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize