Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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