I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
