Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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