Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
