I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
