Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
