he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize