your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
