he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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