Will you blow on my dice?
I think I died a long time ago.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
