I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
