similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
