yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
