He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
