Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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